James O'Brien's Mystery Hour

00:02 This is a Global Player original podcast. 00:08 This is LBC from Global. Leading Britain's conversation. Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. 00:17 Oh, seven minutes after 12, a tiny little bit late, but I'm pretty sure you'll agree that the conversation we were having with Noga merited the delay and desperately important. 00:27 It is, however, time for a much lighter moment together. It is time for your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available anywhere else on your radio. It is a time for resolution. It's a time to solve riddles, to address conundrums, to bring enlightenment and joy into the darkest corners of our confusions and miscomprehensions. It is a radio phoning that essentially involves you ringing in with a question and someone else ringing in with an answer. 01:01 And copyright that, Keith. Don't let anybody nick it. That is just incredible, imaginative production. Don't mention the fact that I almost certainly nicked it off somebody else back in the day. 01:14 And when I say back in the day, boy, do I mean back in the day. We've been doing this for about 111 years now. Seriously, there's a full Mystery Hour archive available at Global Player. All I'd say to you, if you're new to this, obviously the first thing I'd say to you is that you're in for a bit of a treat, and that there are phone lines free, often when it's a normal... 01:33 segment immediately before the 12 noon news then everybody queues up and tries to grab early places it doesn't help you know if the question is rubbish you still won't get on just being first in the queue doesn't help at all if the question is not up to sniff but if we do something like we did just before the 12 noon news now then actually you've got your better chance a best best chance of getting through to the program because it's kind of taken us all by surprise mystery hour so two phone lines currently free they could be yours if you're quick 0 3 4 5 6 0 6 0 9 7 3 any question the only rules are really in the eye of the person who picks up the phone if it sounds a bit dull or if you're unnecessarily aggressive you probably won't get on But if it sounds interesting or we think that there's likely to be an illuminating answer, you probably will. 02:16 I don't generally like motoring questions, but that's moving with the times, isn't it? That prejudice of mine. And arguably, we did a motoring conversation yesterday. I didn't technically think it was motoring, but we often find ourselves on Mystery Hour. But don't ask like really boring questions like... 02:34 Why do I get more miles to the gate? Or there's a roundabout exit near me and you're not allowed to drive down that exit. Where does it lead? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? 02:46 I hope you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, you're probably going to be embarrassed when you ring in. And then you hear someone else ask a question to which you know the answer. This is probably... Well, it's a genuine chicken and egg situation, this, because I was about to ask you, right, what's more important to Mystery Hour, the question or the answer? 03:05 But you can't answer that, can you? 03:08 That's the question. 03:11 What's more important? Because if you've got loads of questions but no answers, it would be rubbish. 03:17 You can't have answers without questions, though, James. So answers are more important because... Oh, no. Questions are more important because you can't have answers without questions. Yeah, but if we don't get any answers, what's the point of asking all the questions? Oh, questions are more important. That is a genuine chicken and egg scenario, isn't it? What's more important? The question or the answer? Not what comes first, the question or the answer. That would be obvious. But what's more important? Or what's more... 03:45 Intrinsic to the joys of Mystery Hour, the questions or the answers. Ah, who knows? I suppose me is the short answer to that question, as Keith very generously suggested. 11 minutes, what is the most magical element of Mystery Hour? Oh, hello. It's 11 minutes after 12. 04:02 Stop it. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC, where Mystery Hour is upon us. If you've no idea what I'm talking about, and I mean even more so than in the other 14 hours of the week that we spend together, then do what you always do. Stay tuned and you'll soon work it out. 04:16 there's prizes prizes what the points make if you submit my favourite contribution of the week I will give you a game a mystery hour game either the original board game with a picture of me on the box or the travel edition with a picture of me on the tin and they are not they're complimentary these so it's worth owning both of them if you've already won one you could win another and get although frankly that's statistically unlikely Or you could go to mysteryhour.co.uk and buy your own for whoever you love most in the world. If you want to find the terms and conditions for the actual competition and your chance to win, then get over to lbc.co.uk. 04:55 And that, I think, pretty much covers it. 12 minutes after 12 is the time. One full note. Michelle's just grabbed it. But as soon as there are phone lines free, I will tell you. 05:03 And let Mystery Hour commence. Danny is in Ilford. Danny, question or answer? 05:09 Hello, James. Firstly, can I just say it's an honour to talk to you. It's not. 05:14 Keith talks to me every single day and he doesn't feel even a tiny scintilla. He hates every second of it. But I am touched by your kindness. 05:22 I worship the ground you walk on, truly. That's ridiculous. 05:25 Carry on, Danny. 05:26 Get on. Thank you for creating, Mystery Hour. And I've been a listener to LBC since 1973 and this is the first time I've called in. 05:33 Oh, well, that is it. That's what we're here for, to finally tempt you over the wire. Just remind, don't forget to leave your address with Eleanor so I can send you the check that we agreed on when I saw you in the pub last night. Carry on, then. 05:45 Agreed. OK, great. The question is inspired by the recent heat waves. 05:50 Yes. 05:51 So, human body temperature is around 37 degrees. 05:55 So why was it last week I was struggling when it was 37 degrees outside? 06:02 Doesn't make sense. Yeah, I mean, it does. That's the official figure, is it, for human, but 37 degrees. 06:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, average. 06:10 And then, theoretically, if it was the same outside as inside, you should be in a state of equilibrium. Yes, equilibrium. You were absolutely... 06:21 steaming yeah and even at lower temperatures like when it's 30 degrees you know i'm uncomfortable so you'd expect where does that original 37 come from like because if you take your temperature with a thermometer under your tongue that's not what comes out is it uh well i say it's average i think it can i mean my wife's a nurse and she said it's between 36 and 38 so yeah 37 is average for humans and did she not have an answer to your question Well, she's working at the moment. So you haven't asked her. That's why I'm asking you. 06:49 So we could both end up looking a little bit silly here. 06:52 Yeah. The other thing is, James, if I go swimming in a swimming pool, that's often around 30 degrees. And I feel very comfortable, very pleasant in 30 degrees water. But if it was 30 degrees outside, again, I would struggle. 07:07 Yeah. And it's definitely all... 07:09 Centigrade, isn't it? 07:11 Yeah, yeah, definitely. 07:12 Just checking that it's not currently 37 degrees Fahrenheit. No, no, no. All right, you're on. You're only allowed one question. We can't be doing with the swimming pool, Danny. We'll just ask about the body temperature. Yeah, yeah. And it'll probably provide you with the knowledge you need to work out the swimming pool answer for yourself. 07:28 Yeah, sure. Yeah, my first question stands, and I can't wait to hear the answer. 07:32 Do you think you'll ever ring again, or is this it now? 07:34 No, I've got the taste for it. 07:37 54 years. 54 years. LBC was born in the same year as me. 54 years it's taken you. 07:43 I was born in 1960, so I've just retired, which is why I've now got the time to do all the things I've never done before. 07:49 You'll be on all the time. You'll be one of those people that we kind of look on as members of the family before the year is out. Danny, stay safe, mate. And thank you for the kind words. I do appreciate them, even though I sometimes unconvincingly pretend not to. It's quarter past 12. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. There's your first question. If the average body temperature is 37 degrees, why do we feel so hot when the temperature outside the average body is 37 degrees? It's going to be one of those answers that makes you go dope. 08:14 17 minutes after 12, and we're off. Brian's on the Costa Blanca. Brian, I don't know the Spanish for question or answer, and I only realised that about a nanosecond after thinking, I know, I'll ask him in Spanish whether it's a question or answer. But here we are. Question or answer in English. 08:28 It's a question, James, please. 08:30 Carry on, Brian. 08:31 When someone is in court and they take the oath, they promise the evidence they will give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. My question is, what's the difference? 08:44 Yeah. Where does that come from? Probably Latin. 08:47 Surely the truth is truth. 08:48 I promise to tell the truth. 08:50 Yes. 08:50 Not all the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. The whole truth. Why not just choose one of them? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Brian. 08:57 What? 08:58 Hold on one moment. Let's think about it. I promise to tell the truth. You could lie by omission. 09:05 Then go to a second one. The whole truth. 09:07 I promise to tell the whole truth. 09:09 Right, I'll go to the third one. Nothing but the truth. 09:12 So we've got the first two. We know why we need a qualification of... No, not necessarily. 09:16 Yeah, you do. Let's just have one. 09:18 No, because I could lie by omission. 09:19 I promise the evidence I shall give shall be nothing but the truth. 09:24 Yeah. 09:25 Oh, I see. So we just used that one. Why all three? No, it's nothing but the truth, but it's not the whole truth, Brian. 09:32 Well, it's just to choose the whole truth. 09:35 but then it would be... There might be some things there that are not true. I could tell the whole truth, but I could tell some lies as well. 09:44 That wouldn't be the whole truth, then. 09:46 Yes, it would. I'd tell the whole truth and some lies. 09:49 Then tell nothing but the truth. 09:51 So you need all three. 09:53 Well, all right. Well, you've given up very easily there, Brian. No, no, no. I've thought that answer through myself, but I still don't think... 10:02 I'm thinking why he can't... We need case studies, so ask me a question. 10:07 Go on, ask me a... Why not just... I promise to tell nothing but the truth. 10:12 Yeah, OK. What were you doing on the night of the 17th? 10:17 Watching TV. 10:18 Exactly, but you also went out and killed someone So you've told the truth when you said watching TV, but you haven't told the whole truth Yes, but I'm And then if you said, all right, I did actually go out and kill someone, but they pointed a gun at me, then you have not told nothing but the truth, because they didn't point a gun at you. But you were still telling the truth, that you went out and you shot them, but you didn't, that's the whole truth, that you went out and you shot them. But you added, exterraneously, that you shot them because they pointed a gun at you first, and that is not true. 10:51 But you have still told the truth, and the whole truth, but you have not told nothing but the truth. 10:55 Ago, you need all three. Well, James, I like it. I like it too, Brian. I like it too. Yep. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I think I've got it now. 11:05 Adios, Brian. 11:07 Adios. 11:07 Adios, amigo. Round of applause for me. 11:11 That was wonderful. I think we might have peaked, Keith. I think we might have peaked early this week, thanks to Brian. Elvia is in Brentford. Elvia, what would you like to say? I beg your pardon. Question or answer? 11:21 Question, please. 11:22 Carry on, Elvia. 11:24 So how is it possible that sometimes you can actually smell rain before a single drop has fallen? 11:30 What are we actually smelling? 11:32 Can you? 11:33 I can. I actually can. Not all the time. 11:37 No, of course not. 11:38 Yeah. Yeah. 11:39 I mean, if you've got an accumulation of pressure or whatever it is, you know, clouds and stuff, and the water content in the air is about to tip over into rain, it makes sense that you'd be able to sense a sort of a shift in the... 11:58 But how does the smell get to us before the rain does? 12:01 What does it smell like? 12:03 rain and we're not talking about petrichor you know the smell of the soil after it's red i love that smell it's a beautiful it's also one of my favorite words as well elvia i love that word it's beautiful um what is it that we're smelling because It's something in the air that is only there before it rains. 12:25 But how does it get there? So what is it? 12:27 What is it? And what does it smell like? It's not petrichor, as a couple of people have very foolishly already texted in. 12:34 But we want to know what it is. What are we smelling? Yeah, is it what are we smelling when we smell something before the rain comes? 12:39 Yeah, what exactly are we smelling or how is it possible that you can smell rain before it comes? 12:43 Is it raining at the moment? 12:45 It is. It actually just started raining. Yeah, I thought, I don't know why. 12:48 I could smell it. 12:49 I'm in a soundproofed, absolutely airtight studio. Well, it's not airtight, is it? Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to breathe. But I'm in a soundproofed studio. I have no idea what the weather's like while I'm at work. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's got no windows. It's got nothing. It is 21 minutes after the start of Elvia. Thank you. And the reason I asked whether it was raining or not is because Elvia is in Brentford, which also happens to be where my garden is, because there'd be no point in me asking... Brian in flipping Costa Blanca whether it was raining or not, would I? Because it would have no interest to me whatsoever as someone who is sitting in Leicester Square, wondering about whether his lawn in Brentford is about to go green again at some point in the not too distant future. 13:22 Greg's in Shaftesbury. Greg, question or answer? Question, please, James. 13:25 Carry on. 13:27 How do seagulls know to come inland for food at certain times of the year? Yeah, tell me more. Tell me what you mean by that. Well, say, for example, at Glastonbury, you're sat there trying to put it all back in the box in the morning, and there is... Is that a figure of speech, Greg, or are you just talking about food? I'm just talking about food. Carry on. But they're there, or they're often behind farmers when they're dragging their soil and stuff, so how do they know to be there so far inland? 13:56 It... 13:57 Yeah, I mean, they must have scout gulls, mustn't they? Scout seagulls. Maybe, but they don't seem the sharing type. They come out and they must be. They must be the sharing. They flock. You don't really get flocks of seagulls. Isn't there a band called Flock of Seagulls? 14:11 There is a band called Flock of Seagulls. 14:12 Yeah, there you go. There must be flocks of seagulls. So you're in a flock of seagulls. 14:19 and one of you is a scout, or perhaps they take it in turns, and you fly around and you see, for example, someone at Glastonbury trying to get it all back in his box, or you see a big tractor ploughing through a field, and you fly back to the flock and you say, lads, I have found our lunch, and then they all fly inland and fill their little beaks. 14:39 But how often do you see a seagull on its own inland? 14:43 About three times a week. 14:44 Yeah. 14:47 So how do the seagulls know? Because they're not there all the time. That's the point you're making, isn't it? Because sometimes they move. They might have actually now started roosting near a rubbish tip, for example, because it's replaced the tradition. I mean, we need to get over the idea... 15:03 that seagulls only hang out at the sea, don't we? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. 15:09 But I'm from Bournemouth, so it's quite hard. 15:10 Yeah, of course it is. But I think it is a miscomprehension, despite the name, that seagulls will only ever want to be at the sea. They'll go where the food is. 15:20 Potentially, but still, you don't see them. I don't think you see them at Glastonbury when Glastonbury's not on. Do you not? How do you know? 15:27 You're never there when Glastonbury's not on. Well, I live nearby. Oh, all right then, clever clogs. How do seagulls know where to go inland? 0345 6060 973, that works for me. Nice one, Greg. Dave's in Goostry in Cheshire. Dave, question or answer? 15:44 Question, please, James. Carry on. 15:47 My daughter, Amy, was wondering why all large train terminal stations seem to be arch-shaped. 15:54 Yeah. 15:56 I mean, can I ask how old Amy is? 15:58 She's actually 23, but she's just a bit... She's a bit of a scaredy cat on the phone. 16:04 LAUGHTER 16:07 That's kind of done away with my next question. Well, now I can still ask this. Is she susceptible to a little bit of flannel and nonsense or would she actually be quite impatient with that and she's just here for a proper answer? Because I'm poised to start thinking out loud, Dave. Had she been eight, I probably would have done. But given that she's 23 and possibly already drumming her fingers, I'm not sure that I'm going to go off on a bit of a meander with this one. 16:35 She'd be very impatient with that. She doesn't like my dad humour at all. 16:39 No, there we go. Thank you for that. Good job we clarified. All right, there you are. Why are... The rain runs off it, I suppose. No, it's not that. The same shape as tunnels? No, not that, because they're much bigger than a tunnel. Why are... Easier to build? Cheaper to build? You can have... Both ends are open. 16:55 Right, you're on. That's for Amy. And indeed for Dave. 25 minutes after 12 is the time. So now you've got an idea of how it works if you're new to Mystery Hour. For example... how can our average body temperature be 37 degrees when we are so uncomfortable when the average temperature outside our bodies is 37 degrees uh i answered brian's question it's a brilliant question that possibly my favorite uh what are you smelling when you smell the thing that you smell just before it starts raining how do seagulls know where to go and why are large train is it termini keith termini terminuses Terminals. 17:30 Sounds like Latin, that. Termini, terminus is terminals. Terminamus, terminatus, terminant. Why are large railway stations always arch-shaped? Keith has got that look on his face that says to me the answer is obvious. 17:42 We shall see. 17:43 And, of course, you can now add your question to the list as well. 0-3-4-5-6-0-6-0-9-7-3. 26 minutes after 12 is the time. Michelle is in Boston. Michelle, question or answer? 17:54 It's a question, James. 17:55 Carry on, Michelle. 17:56 Okay, so during the drought that's just happened, I know, I got all confused. 18:01 Well, I thought you were going all posh, thought you were going hyacinth bouquet then. During the draft, during the draft. 18:07 Carry on. So I noticed that in my garden, my lawn died and was like a sandy, rubbishy, dead colour. But all of the weeds, bright green, and are growing really well. Why aren't they affected by the drought? 18:25 The weeds in the lawn? 18:26 Yeah. 18:28 Well, I mean... 18:29 There's dandelions and there's those burdock leaf things that you rub on stinging nettle stings. 18:34 Yeah. 18:35 They are going gangbusters. Really? But my lawn is... Yeah, my lawn is dead. But they're not going gangbusters. And I asked my husband and he said, no, they really are. 18:44 No, but they're not greener than they would be if there wasn't a drought. 18:47 Possibly not. I've never really paid attention before. 18:50 Well, you wouldn't, would you? So, I mean, the obvious answer would be that they don't need as much water as grass. 18:57 Yeah, but why not? Because they just don't. They're all planty things. Yeah, but they're not, are they? It's not a good enough answer, James. Come off it. You've got basil. 19:05 You've got basil, a pot of basil, and then you've got something next to it like a cactus. They're both planty things, Michelle. 19:14 They are indeed, but they don't come from the same place, whereas the weeds in the lawn I have are both indigenous to a certain extent, whereas a cactus comes from the same place. 19:23 All right, not a cactus then. A fern. 19:27 I don't know anything about ferns. 19:28 Well, they don't need much water. 19:31 Not as much as basil. 19:32 I'd like to know why they don't need as much water. 19:34 Well, why don't you need as much water as someone who's really thirsty? 19:39 Because I'm, you know, a camel. 19:41 You're on. 19:42 I thought this was an excellent question. 19:44 Well, it might be. Quite often when I take the mickey out of questions, I end up feeling foolish because they turned out to. But I just thought that a weed is by definition something that can survive more easily than a flat... No? 19:56 Yes? I don't know. You're on. I like it. 20:00 Michelle's Weeds. 20:02 Dave stroke Amy's railway stations, Greg's seagulls, Elvia's rain smells and Danny's temperatures. We're off and we're running. Thank you, Michelle. From Boston to Carlisle. Pete's there. Pete, question or answer? Question, please, James. Carry on, Pete. 20:18 So I'm a truck driver and throughout the day I collect a myriad of insects and bugs on my windscreen. 20:25 You do. 20:27 Every now and then, probably, I don't know, a ratio once a month i get a red one well a red splat red like blood yeah so my question is what insect is that now what now back in the day when uh going out in the lorry with your grandfather was classed as childcare did you do that was your grandfather a lorry driver as well he was yeah he was is it a family business or did you just follow him into the same job uh i just followed him in really um But he used to tell me that they were tooth fairies. 20:59 Oh, what? Yeah, I know, right? Good Lord. 21:01 I went, oh, then, because you said tooth fairy. I had like a Pavlov reaction. Oh, tooth fairy. What? You're splashing tooth fairy. I like you, granddad. 21:10 And obviously, we both know now that tooth fairies don't fly that low. 21:15 Thank you. Well played. Good man. There you go. Conscious of the fact that it's the school holidays. And of course, it wouldn't be funny, would it? Anyway. 21:22 100%. So my question, like I say, is what dog splats red? 21:26 I think... I know. 21:27 Oh, do you? 21:29 Yeah, I think so. Well, you know me. I probably don't, but I still think I do. 21:33 I think it is... Ready? 21:36 Not a dad joke, I swear. I think it's a recently fed mosquito. 21:41 Ah. You might be onto something. 21:43 I think I am. Have you ever done that? Have you ever managed to squish a recently fed mosquito like yourself on holiday or... 21:50 No. Because you get a red splotch. 21:54 It makes total sense. So it's human blood on your windscreen, Pete. 21:59 Oh, not necessarily, because they also eat animal blood, don't they? They'll drink it, I don't know. 22:04 That's what it is. It's a recently engorged... That's a lovely word. It's a recently engorged mosquito. 22:11 Well, you've lifted a lot of guilt off my shoulders there because for years I was hoping that there weren't children missing out because I'd taken out two ferries. 22:19 Perish the thought. There it is. I think that's two for me today, Keith, actually. Thank you, lovely. Happy driving, Pete. Lovely question. Seriously, you take care. 22:28 So that goes off the board. That's nice, though. I've done a few more than usual lately. It's just the nature of the beast, isn't it? Sometimes they come around and my pointless meanderings actually end up leading us all to a happy destination. Here's Matt Hewitt with your headlines. 22:41 It is 26 minutes to one, and I'd like to qualify my last answer. 22:48 Not just mosquitoes, but a fly that has recently drunk a lot of blood. There are many, many flies in that category, I remembered. during the news and definitely not because you told me via text so you've got your horse flies your deer flies your stable flies your texie fly we wouldn't get those they're only in africa but there you go you get horse flies so it's a recently engorged blood-filled fly splatting on your windscreen and therefore every now and then you'll get a red splat where normally you don't and he's in reading andy question or answer i have an answer james thank you andy 23:21 It's to be a question about temperature. Why is it uncomfortable when the outside temperature is the same as body temperature? 23:28 Now, human body, we metabolise. So actually, to maintain health, we have to keep our temperature the same. And what we're actually doing when we're metabolising is producing heat, producing energy. So we are actually a balance between... the heat that we produce and the necessity to actually lose heat and temperature to maintain it's like a seesaw so that we can maintain so the harder it is for us to lose heat by certain mechanisms because the temperature outside has risen so in other words it's 37 degrees it's harder for us to conduct heat energy outwards and get rid of heat we have to rely on other mechanisms like sweating evaporation which makes us feel uncomfortable So as the temperature goes up, it's more difficult for us to get rid of heat energy and therefore we adapt to another mechanism which makes us feel a bit more uncomfortable. 24:19 So also, this is part, I think, of your answer, internal versus surface temperature, or not? 24:27 Yeah, so what happens is that we have various adaptive mechanisms. So when we're cold, we hold all the warm heat inside of the body, and that's why our hands are cold, because we're not letting any of the heat energy out. 24:40 Even though our core temperature is still going to be between 36 and 38 degrees, we're freezing cold outside. 24:47 Exactly. So we maintain our core temperature the same. The interesting thing about this is the adaptive mechanism. Let me give an example of babies. 24:54 Babies are absolutely fascinating because babies can't put on clothes. 24:58 I mean, they can't talk or anything, can they? They're not that interesting. Sorry, carry on, Andy. No, no, they are interesting, James. 25:05 I'm going to persuade you on this because babies, I didn't know if you know, babies don't shiver. 25:09 And so babies don't have all of these adaptive mechanisms or behavioural mechanisms to maintain their body heat. So they tend to lose heat quite quickly. So they have developed a mechanism where they metabolise. They metabolise massively to try and produce heat more, to balance the heat loss and the heat gain so that they stay the same, which is why when you hug a baby, they always feel nice and warm. They do. 25:33 I never noticed they can't shiver. Oh, yeah. What time does that kick in? What age does shivering kick in? 25:41 Oh, I don't know. I think it's a baby. That one I'll be slightly making up. 25:45 Don't worry, I do it all the time. 25:47 Well, I'll make up, I'll happily make up an answer. 18 months. Yeah, why not? That sounds good. Actually, that might be the answer. That might be close. But myself as a doctor and an anaesthetist and an intensive care doctor, when an operation's going on, one of the things you're an anaesthetist or a measure and maintain is your body temperature and various adaptations that we do to try and keep that the same and so that is a really really important part about the physiology and maintaining health is maintaining your body temperature it's the balance between gain of temperature and loss 26:20 Wow. That's a lovely answer. I hope that it's enough to satisfy Danny. I think it will be. 54 years you've been listening to LBC. He's never rung in before, and you've just given him an answer to his question, Andy. 26:33 Qualifications, you've already told us, but tell us again for the tape. 26:36 Yeah, I'm a doctor of medicine, anaesthetics intensive care. And just a little sprinkling on the top, one of the mechanisms that we use to lose temperature is evaporation, which answers the question, why is it nice to stand in a swimming pool with nice water over your body when you have a lovely evaporation so you can enjoy the temperature of water and enjoy the evaporation to keep you nice and cool as well. 26:56 Amazing work. Round of applause for Andy. 27:02 That was lovely, mate. Thank you. I've done it too much. You see, I told you my kids have got a little bit impatient that my first band was called Line. I'm full on grown territory now. Not even kind of affectionate dad joke, stop it, please. But everyone's doing it now. He said babies don't shiver. Julian Sheffield said, there you go, James. It's a new name for your first band. 27:21 Sam's in Amersham. Sam, question or answer? 27:24 Hi, James. I've got an answer for Michelle. 27:26 Marvellous. 27:28 It's about weeds. 27:29 Yes. 27:30 So she's wondering why the weeds in her lawn are looking lush when the lawn isn't. And the weeds she mentioned in particular, dandelions and docks, they've got very long cat roots. 27:42 So it's an adaptation that allows them to reach into the groundwater much below... 27:46 So I was wrong. It's nothing to do with how much water they need. It's how much water they get. 27:52 They're able to reach into areas that are a bit deeper, where the water hasn't evaporated quite as much, and they're able to sustain themselves that way. 28:01 That's a perfect answer. Qualifications? 28:03 So, as you know, I'm an award-winning garden designer and horticulturalist. 28:07 I know that, but it's a mystery. We can't take anything for granted or go, you know, cut any corners. That's okay. 28:14 I wanted to ask you about your Brussels sprouts. Did you find out the issue with your Brussels sprouts? 28:18 No, my raised beds this summer have been an absolute disaster. And then the hosepipe ban kicked in anyway, so I'd rather not talk about it if it's all right with you. 28:27 I'm so sorry, I was going to give you a tip. 28:29 Well, I'll take the tip though, for next year. It's too late to sow anything now. 28:33 Yeah, one of the reasons why Brussels sprouts don't produce edible fruiting walls um that's the name of my first band the edible fruiting balls carry on um is because the roots um are not packed in the enough so they don't like rocking at the roots so what you have to do is press down really hard around the roots compact the soil And that helps to keep them really stable and then they will give you a pop of fruit. 29:01 That actually makes perfect sense. I think I was a little bit too giddy when I was preparing my raised beds last year. I did too much raking. 29:11 So you probably got a light fire of the soil. Yeah, I did. 29:13 I did too much digging because I was digging in the manure. 29:19 And I probably left it too flaky. 29:21 Hopefully next year. 29:23 Yeah, next year is the time. 29:24 You can thank me. 29:26 I've got a tree. What about a fern? I've got a fern. I've got two ferns. 29:32 sam yeah one of which is i mean you would not believe how lush it is they're not identical ferns ones that are slightly darker green than the other one but they're tree ferns and the other one which i've repotted and i bought some special soil like ferny soil for it and it's not dying but it is got i'd say one in every four leaves is looking a bit um brown frankly what how do you look after a fern 29:57 So tree ferns are quite different from standard ferns. Yeah, it's a tree fern. So if you're talking about tree ferns, they don't actually take up water from the base. 30:05 No, I've been watering the central... You water them in the crown. The crown, is it? Yeah. So you don't water the base at all? You do all your watering down the middle? 30:12 No, they're basically dead, that stump. 30:14 And it's growing out of the top. So if you were to add an irrigation line, you'd have to make it run all the way up the stem and into the crown, which is where the... 30:24 No, I've been doing that. The fresh growth is coming from. But I'm not... I have been doing that. I'll stop watering the base of it now. I'll do all the watering down the crown. And then I like to do a fine mist on the leaves as well. Mm-hmm. 30:35 Sounds like you're doing all the right stuff. 30:37 But why... So there's nothing else I can do then? I mean, you can't... Is it in full sun? No, it's not in full sun. I'll turn it around a bit as well. Maybe I'll swap them around and then see if it is where it's sitting. 30:48 They can take pretty deep shade. So if you've got a spot that nothing else will grow in... What will be making it go brown? 30:54 Will it be heat? 30:56 Probably lack of moisture. 30:57 Lack of moisture. There you go. Can you see? Anyway, it was cheap at the garden centre. It was pretty brown when I bought it. And it's less brown now than it was when I bought it. 31:04 Well done. 31:05 Thank you. And then come winter, it falls apart completely, right? You have to wrap it up in blankets or something. 31:11 Hesium bag, like a potato sack or something will do the job. 31:14 When do I do that? 31:17 Um, come November. 31:18 It's really about... Keith, write that down, Keith. 31:20 ...stopping the frost from getting into the crown. 31:22 Because I'd be gutted if it doesn't come back next year. They're amazing, aren't they, Chief? For people who don't know, they're like snails. You get the whole frond. 31:30 They're like a baby orangutan when they unfurl. They unfurl. 31:33 They're very strokeable. Gorgeous, aren't they? Absolutely gorgeous. 31:36 Absolutely adorable. 31:38 Done the qualifications. Have you had your round of applause yet? Can you remember? I haven't. Well, here it is. 31:44 Actually, I have two, because otherwise I might have to pay you for your horticulture. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Lovely stuff. I'm going to start calling her Samisham, as opposed to Sam in Amisham, because it'll save time. Richard's in Havering. Richard, question or answer? 31:56 Morning, James. I've got a question. It's a bread-related one. Thank you. So, like most people, I throw out the ends of the bread and put it on the lawn and let the birds eat it, but I've shifted... It's a bit of an issue in Havering, but I've shifted more to sourdough bread now. 32:12 Woo! 32:13 Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, there is a debate whether we're a London borough or Essex at the moment. Yeah, of course there is, yeah. What I've noticed is that it doesn't get eaten. So they're not, the birds and whatever's eating it before is not eating the sourdough bread. So I wonder what's going on there. 32:31 So Essex birds are turning their beaks up at sourdough bread. 32:36 You beat me to it, yeah. 32:38 You can take the boy out of the tabloid. Exactly. Wow. So there's something about sourdough bread that the birds don't like. It's not because it's too... No, because it would get wet, wouldn't it, and all sorts of things. It's not the texture. It's going to be the contents, we think. 32:52 There's something in it that maybe is not salty enough or it's not yeast. I don't know. I really don't know. 32:57 Okay, you're on. Yeah, why don't the birds like the sourdough? And you prefer the sourdough, do you? You're sticking with it. 33:04 I don't eat much anyway, but apparently it makes you less fat. 33:08 What's not to like? Lovely stuff. 12.45 very nearly is the time, Richard. Thank you. So I need some answers now. Hurry up quickly. Ready? 33:15 Done that one. 33:16 What could you smell when you smell that thing that you smell just before it starts raining? What are you smelling? 03456060973. How do seagulls know where to go? 33:29 when there's about to be a feast, like at a festival, a music festival, or the rubbish at a music festival, or a farmer is ploughing his field. 03456060973. I think Keith has got the station's question right, so we will wait to see whether someone rings in to tell us, and if they don't, I'll probably let Keith... 33:48 speak through me to you. 33:51 We've done the weeds question with Samisham, and we want to know about the sourdough bread. Why don't the birds dig the sourdough? 0345 6060 973. And remember, there's a board game up for grabs, a mystery, a game up for grabs for my favourite contribution of the week. And there is no, I don't think, there's no out in front contributor so far, is there? There's no obvious winner of it so far. So it could be you. 34:18 It is 12 minutes to 12. Can we play the grass clip just to mix things up a bit? I know we don't normally do that during mischief, but I keep forgetting to do things and then remembering about a week later and thinking about, oh, I never told you about that. It's just we've sort of taken our eye off the ball with regards to Donald Trump. We mentioned it right at the top of the week, the fact that we kind of stopped talking about him, which is probably what he wants, because the reason why we stopped talking about him was because it was impossible to keep up with what a menace he is. So I just thought you might enjoy this little clip of him from yesterday as much as I did. 34:53 If you come back in two weeks, three weeks, it's in shock. But you come back in two or three weeks, this has all been redone. It's all been topsoiled. In other words, we put topsoil, brand new earth on top. Very, you know, very, a lot of good ingredients in that earth for grass. If you're grass, you're very happy. And this grass will look so beautiful. 35:16 Yeah. 35:18 Stuart's in Hackney. Stuart, question or answer? 35:21 Quick question, James. Carry on, then. I was going across the Walsh Ferry the other day, and it just dawned across me. Do ships or heavy cargo boats like that have weight limits? 35:36 Well, I mean, in the sense that eventually they'll sink... 35:41 Well, that's not the question. What is the question, then? Do they have weight limits? So do they weigh everything going onto a boat to make sure it doesn't get close to the limit at which it would sink? 35:53 Well, that can't happen because we do that across the Woolwich Ferry, don't we? They don't have any scales there. 35:58 No, but they probably... I mean, apart from sinking... 36:07 what would tell us that the weight limit had been reached? 36:14 Well, without the ships or the boat sinking. 36:17 Yeah, without... I mean, unless it sank, how would we know that we had overloaded it to the point where the weight limit had been breached? 36:26 Exactly. What? What do you mean exactly? I'm asking you. Well, you can't load up a ship and wait for it to sink, can you? Not exactly. So what would a weight limit be? 36:36 That's what the question is. Is there a weight limit? And how do they determine the weight limit? 36:41 That's not the question. That can't be the question. Because we've just said they don't weigh everything going onto a ship, do they? 36:47 But they can't. They can't weigh everything. 36:49 They can't. I know. They just can't. So there's no weight limit. 36:53 They'll see. I'll tell you what. They'll just watch it, Stu. 36:57 And when it starts, when it starts, when the water, when it goes down, be like, is it the plimsoll line? What's the plimsoll line? 37:06 Is there anything to do? No, nor me. So, there'll be little lines on the hull. 37:11 I think it is the plimsoll line. 37:13 No, no, no, no, no. 37:14 Well, you can't say no. You can't go in 30 seconds from no, I haven't got a clue to going no, no, no, no, no. Can you? 37:21 But that line, I'm sure that's... 37:23 It's the plimsoll line, mate. No, it's the plimsoll line. Every boat has a plimsoll line, and once it's reached the plimsoll line, you can't put any more gear on it. Boom. 37:31 No, but... What, but... No, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. No. Yes. Nobody looks at the plimsoll. 37:40 Everybody looks at the plimsoll line, Stuart. 37:44 Everybody looks at it. If you don't look at the plimsoll line, you're going to sink your ship. Not possible. It is possible. It's the plimsoll line. Everybody knows it's a plimsoll line, except you. No, that's not right. You must have been off school that day. Did you miss a lot of school as a child? 37:58 Not one day. Oh, well, maybe you had an ear infection. 38:02 Yeah, but that's not the answer, though. 38:04 It is the answer, though. 38:07 Who do you want to take the answer from, then, if you're not going to take it? It's buoyancy. The boat is buoyant, right? You load up the boat. You can't, as you've acknowledged. You've got a gauging... I think you sound rather indecisive. I'm not indecisive. I'm absolutely adamant it's a plimsoll line. It is not. It is. What if the ship doesn't have a plimsoll line? Then it's doomed. 38:30 No, there's got to be a better answer to that. 38:32 I mean, how can you say it's a better answer? It is precisely why ships have a plimsoll line. It's a brilliant answer. 38:39 No, that's not an answer. You're not getting a tick on this one, son. I am getting a tick on this one, son. 38:43 Who would you accept an answer from, then? 38:46 Somebody that's maritime knowledgeable. All right. 38:49 About Ash in Northampton? 38:51 I don't know. Is he maritime knowledgeable? 38:53 Flipping is, mate. Have you not been listening to our conversations about the Strait of Hormuz? 38:57 No. What? You're one of those people that only tunes in for Mystery Hour, aren't you? 39:02 No, I listen to you all the time. Oh, yeah. 39:04 Just like you never missed a day of school, but you've managed to miss all of our conversations about the war in the Middle East. Easy, tiger. Easy, tiger. All right. 39:12 I'll leave it on the board, but I'm right. 39:15 Thank you. It's the plimsoll line, 12.53. 39:19 There's a gauging lock in Brentford. I don't know why I feel this is relevant, but that would actually, back in the day, weigh you by water displacement at the side of the lock as opposed to on the actual boat itself. So I don't know whether barges have plimsoll lines. Water displacement on your way into the Thames, versus water displacement on your way out would allow them to calculate what your weight was. Why are you shaking your head at me? Yeah, it would. 39:49 Anyway, it's called a gauging lot. It's lovely. 39:52 And so is the whole of Brentford. Ash is in Northampton. Crikey. Question or answer? 39:57 I'm back on Mystery Hour, James. Answer, please. Carry on. This is where we met, isn't it? It's quite romantic, this. Go on, then. 40:04 OK. The word he needs is tonnes per centimetre. 40:09 Right. 40:10 What that is, is when you work out for each cargo, how much it's going to submerge the vessel a centimetre across its entire length. 40:20 Yes. And how many tonnes you can then load of it. 40:24 So that's vessel specific, the TPC? 40:27 Yes, because it will depend upon the underwater volume, but it will also depend on the dockwater density. 40:32 But in the absence of scales, i.e. a ship is loading without you being able to weigh everything going onto it, it's all about the plimsoll line. 40:42 Yeah, so load lines is what you'd use. 40:44 Why are you saying load lines, not plimsoll lines? 40:46 Because the plimsoll lines are very specific load line. 40:50 What, just for loads of plimsolls? 40:52 just for well it was it was designed as the the sort of like the maximum you could go to without the ship sinking yeah for a safety margin so you wouldn't necessarily want to go all the way to oh okay got you so there's a specific to a plimsoll line but a load line is a little bit more variable Yeah, so you can have like your freshwater, your tropical, your winter North Atlantic, all sorts of different ones. 41:12 What's that dock density water? Dock water? What's that all about? 41:15 Dock water density? Yeah. Well, the density of seawater is 1025. Yeah. The density of freshwater is 1000. 41:23 Dock water is usually a mixture of seawater and freshwater, so it's somewhere in between. Brackets. So you have to interpolate between them to get the exact figures. 41:30 Interpolate. 41:32 You should get a round of applause for that and that alone, shouldn't you? There you go. So salt makes water more dense? 41:38 Yes, which makes the vessel float more. 41:40 Of course it does. So if you were moving from salt water to fresh water, you'd have a small risk. 41:51 Yes, well, if you're moving from, yes, saltwater to freshwater, so you would sink down to your marks. If you're moving from freshwater to saltwater, you float up. 41:57 You are so good, man. It's actually ridiculous. You and Noga today are addressing very different issues, I grant you, but flipping out, you both absolutely knocked it out of the park. 42:08 It made me feel like a third wheel on this programme, Ash. Have a round of applause from me. 42:13 Oh, sorry, hang on. 42:14 Qualifications? 42:15 I remain a chief officer in the Merchant Navy and a 42:18 chain of merchant navy team officers there we go carry on round of applause collecting them like stamps these days he is 12 56 is the time there you go stuart mate ha uh dan's in manchester dan question or answer good afternoon james pleasure to talk to you it's been answer um for you um so your caller previously mentioned about why railway stations are arch so one possible well two possible fairies to that is 42:44 to show off the grandeur of the railway company at the time when they first created it, to show off as wealth. And then the second theory that I've had was obviously back in the olden days of steam engines and locomotives, all the smoke would then travel up into the air rather than sideways into members of the public and potentially also to manage an annoyance. 43:10 I think it's a combination of things, and I think Keith's answer to this merits inclusion as well. 43:15 Oh, I hope he's not better than mine. 43:16 Well, I'll let you judge, actually, because you seem like a stand-up guy. What about the pillars? 43:22 So if it's a massive arch, you've got no pillars. 43:26 No, I don't know too much about it, but I assume that's probably because of the steel beams at the top of them, holding them together. But actually, that's a really good point. I don't know. No pillars at all. 43:36 So the last thing you want in a railway station is pillars. 43:43 I mean, you've got to have a lot of sleepers, Dan, but you don't want any pillars. 43:49 Boom, boom, boom. 43:50 Get in. What a show. 43:51 What a day. 43:51 Have a round of applause. Qualifications? Qualifications? A modest train geek and lovely to speak to you as well. No, likewise. Next time you're in London, you must come to West Ealing and have a look at that battery train there. 44:02 It's very exciting. I will do. Thank you. Round of applause. I'll share it with Dan. 44:06 lovely stuff uh as ash just check that ash has not got a board game will you i think he hasn't so we can give it to him he deserves a board game he's been holding the show together for the last six months almost single-handedly uh while i phone it in uh i think that's it for today and um and what a show it has been uh if you missed any of it you can listen back on catch up on global player or indeed on the lbc app where you can find a whole range of news views and opinions you can listen to a range of podcasts including james o'brien daily the best bits from my show every day and full disclosure the long form at long form that the hour-long interview i'll stop saying long form makes me sound pompous pompouser is that a word more pompous more pompous oh thanks a bunch download the official lbc app for free from your app store now coming up at four on lbc it's tom say you're right there she 44:55 Shall I carry on? I said that rather too readily, didn't I? Just a bit more pompous than normal. 45:00 Thank you very much. Now it's time for Sheila Fogarty. 45:02 Thank you very much indeed. You know I love you. 45:06 This has been a Global Player original production.